Stressed

So ex figured out how to get into my email again and unfortunately, I neglested to keep old mail erased. She read letters between me and my sisters from way back when we were going through divorce which were critical to her an many ways.  She was very offended by them, obviously although she had no business being in my private email anyway.
We had a big fight over the letters which were not only from my sisters but also from some supportive friends.
To make a long story short, I spent a little time living in a friends garage  because I couldn't handle the constant barage of belittling, shame and guilt induced yelling from her! I mean, we are divorced for pete's sake so what's it to her now?  
She paid $300 for an eviction notice which is my Christmas present!  However, I have until the end of January to find another place but in the meantime, her and her bf are making my life miserable.  I'll take off and go for long long walks just to get away from it all.  I am about to lose it.  I am on pins and needles living here.
On the other hand, she will give me mixed signals by telling me I can stay as long as I help out with the expenses which is what I have been doing. He isn't working and she is only working part time so they kinda need me here for the financial help and to fix things when they break, plus shovel the yard. Her bf is a couch potato prefering to watch game shows while I do the shoveling. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the exercise and being outdoors so it shows you the difference between the two of us.
Once in awhile he will make a snide remark but I'll just laugh. I am older then him but better in every way except that I don't baby my ex like he does.
I know what you all are going to say an thats, get out but unfortunately, my resources are very limited at this point in time.  My depression has hit a new high though and I have been doubling up on my medication on occasion.
I may have handled my stress in the wrong way while I was married by getting into drugs and alcohol and by turning to other women for conversation and support but I surely don't deserve the constant daily drama that has been unfolding every day here for the past 3 weeks!
I told her the other evening how she thinks I feel when she goes to bed every night with someone else while I go to bed alone in the spare bedroom and she didn't have an answer for that except to say it was all my fault from the beginning.
I want so bad to have someone, like me, who can be supportive and work with me instead of against me and not fly off the handle when things don't go right. If any of you reading this feel this fits you then please call me :)
I haven't felt this bad in a long time. Thats why I haven't been on here much lately.  It's been really hard lately but I know it will pass. I am eternally optimistic.
Love to all!