bad day

Had a big argument with wife yesterday. It all started when she got a phone call from her lawyer.  I don't want to go into details at this time but I went for a long walk, about 8 miles. My thumb was killin me and my heart was too.  I was tired and my back was sore. 

I stopped at a neighbors house about a mile from where I live, so I could get some water.  Was feeling very dehydrated.  Neighbor is an alcoholic. But I sat on his deck with him and talked for awhile while drinking a glass of his water.  No it wasn't a beer although beer sounded pretty good to me at that time.  
After awhile, I realized that neighbors house was in a cell phone dead zone so if anyone tried to call me, they wouldn't get me. So I immediately left.
I got about a half mile from home and wife called me up and was frantic and crying!  She had said she looked everywhere for me and couldn't find me, I think she thought I committed suicide. That thought did cross my mind but I took my phone out of my pocket and read a text that one of my friends from the acoa group wrote, and I changed my mind.  I realized I had a purpose in life, that my life had meaning.  
There has been a little more drama today, mostly from wife's bf but rather then getting tangled up in the web, I am steering clear and letting it go in one ear and out the other.
Finally, I am at peace again, thanks to my Higher Power and many of you here.

God Bless!
 

Replies

billwfriend
billwfriend

suicide is never the next choice we ever should be trying to make...but it does cross our minds.....mine too....glad you got to the light at the other side of the tunnel.....hugs bill
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think we all have moments, or even hours and sometimes days, when life is just too overwhelming and just getting it over and done with crosses our minds. Only the severely mentally ill actually follow through (by this I mean: in a manner that completes the intention with no possibility of interruption). You are not mentally ill, Bob. You are in a horrendous mess in your life but THIS, TOO SHALL PASS, and from it you will gain strength and wisdom. Not to mention blessings. You\'re quite a guy, Bob. Most men would have (at best) put these two out of the house. At worst, well....keep going.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine

Thanks Billy. Sometimes I go for a long walk just so I can be at peace with myself and with God. I often pray or just talk out loud and run many things through my mind and it helps me alot.
Thanks Jill , both of these people have health issues. My ailments are small by comparison. My wife borders on sociopath. I didn\'t have all the information I needed when I lost my temper yesterday which goes to show how misinformation and half truths can negatively affect one\'s judgement. I know better now and I think before I speak. hugs.
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

I had the feeling yesterday you were in a bad place. I am so glad you worked through it and are in a better place now! You are a kind and strong person and I pray this upsetting situation is over soon! Sending prayers for peace and contentment! HUGS!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine

Thankyou Joyce, I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers, hugs