update
Well the two lovebirds went on a picnic this morning. Needless to say I was not invited! Before they left, I mowed the lawn, raked it and did the weed wacking. Not once did anyone offer to help me with it! I remember when I use to mow the lawn, my wife would run out of the house and volunteer to help. She would mow, or rake, or both! Not anymore though!
Plus, she is running the car into the ground. I suggested she but a set of front brake pads and I would change them for her but she thinks they will be ok because they are not squealing, she said! (shaking my head) This morning I checked the oil before they left and it was low so I added a quart and told her it was very nasty and needed to be changed. She use to be right on top of car maintanance but now she doesn't care anymore. Ahh well, I did my part and offered free mechanical help which is far more then any other estranged husband would do, I am sure of that!
I am enjoying my alone time more and more, and getting use to it. I pray for the day when I can give my love to someone else that will give me just a little back in return! I would be so happy, I might not know how to handle it!
The wife has 20,000 in a retirement account. If that was all I got in the divorce settlement, that would be enough to get a small piece of land, and a small, two bedroom home started. I have some carpentry skills and can do much of the work myself. I already have a bluprint in my head. I would gladly part with this trailer that I live in. It has some issues which my wife never allowed me to fix.
The thing that I will miss the most is the imprint I have left on this lot with the landscaping I have done through the years. The trees I planted 25 years ago have sprouted high up in the air and I am proud of that. I may not live another 25 years to see that happen again in a new place but you never know. I take pretty good care of myself with diet and exercise so we will see.
God willing I would love to meet some of my DS friends someday and if anyone wants to come visit me, I want to have a place they can stay. When my older sisters come to Maine to visit old friends, I want them to stay with me. I love entertaining guests and my wife never did so few people ever visited.
The coffee will be on :)
Plus, she is running the car into the ground. I suggested she but a set of front brake pads and I would change them for her but she thinks they will be ok because they are not squealing, she said! (shaking my head) This morning I checked the oil before they left and it was low so I added a quart and told her it was very nasty and needed to be changed. She use to be right on top of car maintanance but now she doesn't care anymore. Ahh well, I did my part and offered free mechanical help which is far more then any other estranged husband would do, I am sure of that!
I am enjoying my alone time more and more, and getting use to it. I pray for the day when I can give my love to someone else that will give me just a little back in return! I would be so happy, I might not know how to handle it!
The wife has 20,000 in a retirement account. If that was all I got in the divorce settlement, that would be enough to get a small piece of land, and a small, two bedroom home started. I have some carpentry skills and can do much of the work myself. I already have a bluprint in my head. I would gladly part with this trailer that I live in. It has some issues which my wife never allowed me to fix.
The thing that I will miss the most is the imprint I have left on this lot with the landscaping I have done through the years. The trees I planted 25 years ago have sprouted high up in the air and I am proud of that. I may not live another 25 years to see that happen again in a new place but you never know. I take pretty good care of myself with diet and exercise so we will see.
God willing I would love to meet some of my DS friends someday and if anyone wants to come visit me, I want to have a place they can stay. When my older sisters come to Maine to visit old friends, I want them to stay with me. I love entertaining guests and my wife never did so few people ever visited.
The coffee will be on :)
Replies
I love that you are making plans and ready to move on! Enjoy your alone time while you can.
I\'m a tea drinker!!!!!
You\'ll get there Bob - it will just take a little time. Step by step. You\'re sounding good and I\'m happy to hear that!
Bob, I\'m putting th brakes on here.. You can\'t take retirement funds. Even if she is ordered to give them to you she either has to pay the tax penalties which could be 25% federal and approx. 10% state and then she will have to pay on her income taxes otherwise it has to go into a retirement account for you and if you withdraw it, you will have the taxes on you or you will have to wait until you ar 59 1/2 and you have to see what kind of retirement account it is. You may not be able to take it out in a lump sum.
Don\'t even make that offer to her attorney.
You need to talk to some one about all this Bob! It\'s not simple - any of it.
I understand Viv. I know what kind of account it is because I am the one who set it up for her. I cashed one in before and had to pay the 10% but the taxes were minimal because I didn\'t make much that year. But thanks.
Bob, my heart goes out to you!! I hope to meet you someday! Then you can give me a big hug! I know divorce is hard and I am sure it is harder on you now cause she is commiting adultry right in front of you. You are a very strong man. I am blessed to know you and thank you for all the help you gave to me. Biggest Hugs Go Out To You!!
thanks Brendy. I just try to live my life by the 12 steps. Sometimes I make mistakes but I am human.
Bob, you are an amazing human! I am sure that God helps you with your twelve steps! I could not go through, what you are going through. I am amazed at what happens and God helps you right through it. He is the almighty God and he will you through anything!
Coffee! Yum!
I really and truly think the 3 of you need to sit down and set up ground/house rules: who does the cooking. who does the dishes. who does the yard work. I mean really. There are 3 of you there and you all need to pitch in! You need to put your foot down! Also work out the expenses, who pays for what.
Praying that things work out for you soon.
Thanks Kahlua. I usually do the yard work and someone else does the cooking and laundry. I actually gave my wife $40 for gas the other day and I changed the oil in the car this morning and I bought the oil and filter. So everything is fine so far.