update

I really didn't mind taking my dog out to pee 3 or 4 times a night, and carrying her up the steps and back into the house and always having to lift her up onto the bed or chair because I loved my dog and all the joy she had given me for the past 9 plus years.  It's my wife that seemed to be inconvenienced by a pet with a bad valve in an enlarged heart that was filling her with fluid.  I really couldn't tell if she was suffering or not but just the fact she would not eat and seemed to have difficulty laying down, sent a message that maybe it was time.  Wife thought I was mad at her because it was her idea but I just told her I had trouble letting go.  
I asked myself many times, if the dog could talk, would she want to live like that?  Sometimes I think not. It was often difficult to get her pills into her, then other times I think she would rather just be with us so I dunno.  
I kinda wish I could be 100 percent sure that she was in heaven but I think that's where faith comes in.  My faith is marginal at best but I think it's because I always want things to go my way and of course it doesn't. It doesn't for everybody as far as that goes.  Ahh well, can't bring my little girl back but I still have many, many, very fond memories of her!
Seeing her big eyes look at me for the last time when I said goodbye, I can't seem to get this picture out of my head.  God that hurts.  Ahh well