Update

The one thing that I hated all of my life and seem to be a victim of is verbal abuse.  My alcoholic dad did it to me all through the years I lived at home and when I went to work in the shop, whenever I made a mistake which was not very often, my boss use to enjoy ridiculing me in front of my coworkers.
Now someone else is doing it in a group.  At first I tried ignoring the problem hoping it would go away but that didn't work so I have quit the group and will never go back.  Thats not why I am here! 
Made me want to take a drink but then everything I was taught in counseling and in the iop class, kicked in and I knew axactly how to deal with the negative feelings.
I feel fine now and ready to go fight the 2 feet of snow outside my door!
Sigh!