First entry
I've been having intense anxiety attacks since my breakup....I used to have one every morning as soon as I woke up. It felt as if going to sleep gave me peace. I saw black and could escape from my thoughts if even for a few hours. Now, I wake up and go about my day....the panic attacks are less frequent but I still think about my relationship every day. Today I was on the verge of a panic attack and all during a class lecture. I thought I would lose my mind. I focused on my breathing and was able to control it. I wonder if I'm just being this masochist....secretly finding pleasure in constantly returning to thoughts of the man who broke my heart. I just don't know.....how I can get over this, how I will ever be able to move on. Thinking about it every day is just digging a deeper hole in my heart.
Replies
I am so sorry to hear. I felt that way a lot at the beginning and even recently. You are worth more than to be still haunted by this but you cannot rush recovery either. I realize that stress can come at the worst times but I am sure you will start to feel better with time. Getting these feelings out is important. It is so hard to separate the good memories from the bad. So many people lack understanding of why a bad relationship can still be missed. You can think of me anytime and remember I am probably having many of the same feelings here in BC. The sun is brighter in California so I am just abit jealous. Tomorrow I am going Kayaking to have a change of pace and refocus on myself.
I am so sorry. It\'s so hard to adjust in times like these, when you entire routine is changed because you are suddenly alone. Plans you had made for the future have changed. It hurts, burns, and it\'s near impossible to turn your mind off.
This sounds exactly like what I experience each morning, still even after a month. Some days are better than others. One day, I spent the day doing healthy things, trying my best to keep the fear and loneliness at bay. I did yoga, I meditated, I did my homework. I fell asleep easily that night, yet woke again having a panic attack.
These feelings pass with time, but getting through the first few weeks or even months can be so hard.
Meditation is such a hard habit to make a part of your daily life, but if you can have the patience, it will calm the anxiety and give you perspective. One book that has helped me is Eckhart Tolle \"The Power of Now\".... PLEASE give it a chance, I guarantee it will give you some perspectives to try and make use of in your life.