Yesterday was a hard day.  After a false labor, my good friend finally delivered her hea;thy baby girl at 7 lbs 8oz.  I was happy for her, but very angry as well.  Not angry at her, but angry that I lost my baby and won't deliver on December 28th.  I went to the hospital to visit her and the baby.  I new it would be hard, btu I didn't realize that I would be crying all the way home.  I went to the hospital where my 3 year-old was born and all the memories of her birth cam flooding back and I could not help but think that it should have been the same for my second child.  I then held the baby and it was so hard to realize that my angle will never be born.  I thought I would be ok because I spent time with my nephew who is 3 months old this weekend and was ok.  Apperently a newborn is much different.  I kept it in till I got to the parking lot and the cried.  My poor 3 year-old was so upset that mommy was crying, but I could not seem to hold it in.  When I got home I tried telling my DH how I was feeling and he said, but we will get pregnant again and try this month.  I tried explaining to him that although I want to get pregnant, that was not going to stop me from crying because I wanted the baby I was pregnant for and wasnted to still be pregnant with him/her right now.  He does not get it.  While he was upset when I miscarried, he has moved on and did not bond with the baby the way a mother can before it is born.  He was not much help.I was just starting to feel better today when I check my e-mail this morning and the first thing I see in congratulations, you are now 12 weeks from enfamil...I had signed up to keep track of pregnancy milestones.  I know that I did unsubscribe them because right after the D and C I unsubscribed from everything and then got a congratulations right after the D and C so I unsubcribed again.  This is the third time I have unsubscribed.  If I get one more, I am calling and someone is going to get an ear full.  If someone unsubcribes its for a reason and they need to pay more attention.