Just came back from an AA meeting. I had 5 yrs clean and sober and it has been a struggle to get any significant time now. Even more so with the death of my son at such an early age. His life was just beginning. I was NOT supposed to out-live him. The meeting was about removing the wreakage of the past. People with alot of clean time had very good input. I know all that. It is a simple program but why is it SO HARD for me? I know what to do. I am just so sad and I feel soooooo hopeless. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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Hi, game to your site via your post to another. Just read that you are thinking of a Tylenol-overdose. This is not a good idea.. You will not go into a vegatative state...it will actually be many months before you die and it is a very painful, ugly and expensive death. Just thought you\'d like to know. Another thing, FYI, you needn\'t go to AA daily to recover. Actually , in AA you will never recover .I guess you already realize that since if you are recovered it is for life not for 5 yrs. Suicide is the highest form of self-critisism. Do you feel responsible for your son\'s death in any form? Or, are you just so miserable that you are temporarilly out of your mind? After all, it is quite insane to want to leave your kids, pets and parents via suicide not to mention very selfish, to want to inflict the misery you feel re: your son\'s death onto peeps that you claim to love. I am a recovered drinker, self-recovered, by the way. There actually is real help for you if you are serious about wanting it. If you really, really want to get out of the mess you are in, both mentally and physically, check out my journal from the day I started on DS. If you are only looking for sympathy or strokes, don\'t bother with my site. I hope you are serious. Love Triss
I\'m so sorry for the loss of your son. I too lost my son Ryan in 2006. I\'m in a 12 step program in AA. I use my own conception of God. I\'ve been in the program for 7 years now. Without a God in my life, I wouldn\'t of lived this long without my son...love, Kelly
The loss of a child is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me. In the beginning, and still on some days, I wish my life would be over too. But I know how devastated I was and how devastated the people who depend on me and love me would be if I should happen to make the decision to make my exit from this life. I also have a son who is an alcoholic/addict and I wish he would attend AA meetings to get better, but I know it\'s up to the person and what/who they have in their lives that recovery would mean so much to. I wish you strength to move ahead in your life for your dauthters\' sakes and anyone else in your life that love you. Please stay with us here at Daily Strength and let us listen and if possible, help you heal. I also request that you be my friend in at DS.
When my daughter was killed, I thought many times of not being alive, but I never thought of making myself not be alive. My nephew committed suicide a few years ago and I know how painful that was and how devestated his mom and sisters were. Sometimes we can only think of our own pain and not step outside to see that pain subsides, even though we don\'t think it will. Someday you will be glad that you made it through this terrible time in your life.
My prayers are with you. hugs j