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I have stopped cutting myself so far... Mainly because of the amount of scars/scabs etc on my arm, there is no where else to do it. Whenever I get home, I want to cut myself....like really, really want to do it.  It's like i've stopped doing the one thing that was keeping me sane and Im just now realising how much I need it. I am trying the think +ve thing...but I can hear myself, in the depths of my mind disagreeing with all of the positive things.  Like it is just waiting for one really bad day and I will be back on rock bottom. I have friends, one who helps me more then she will ever know, but while she is amazing, we are just friends. Don't tell me I need to change the way I think before I meet someone, as I know that. Just any kind of indication that there is someone out there for me would be nice.  I'm only 25, but im not getting any younger.  My friends are all starting to settle down.  My brother is getting married!  I'm supposed to be the best man...what a laugh that will be :S Just kinda struggling on wondering where the next bad thing is gonna come from now and I really don't wanna be living like this. If I hadn't already tried once and promised my mother I wouldnt do it again, thered be nothing stopping me right now. Till next time!