Anger

  I am back at work on Monday after the christmas break and part of my fear about going back is that I'm going to start getting angry again, although I feel I have chilled out a bit, travelling on the underground today started to wind me up again.Replying to a post just now reminded me that maybe I'm feeling angry about the attack and just displacing it. So I thought I would use this opportunity to vent and see what comes out,  I'm angry that I now hate myself, I'm angry that my self worth is so low that I can't make discisions and don't trust my ability to do anything, I'm angry that this low self worth is so noticable to others and is holding me back. I'm angry that I haven't been in a relationship for the last 4 years. I'm angry that I have no hope of ever being in a relationship of having a family. I'm angry that I am an alcoholic. I'm angry that when something upsets me or makes me anxious I want to cut myself or hurt myself in some other way. I'm angry that I always fear the worst and therefore am constantly anxious or scared or confused. I'm angry that my feeling are so muted that nothing makes me happy. I'm angry that I hate men and don't trust anybody, least of all myself and have had to question everything that I once belived to be true. I'm angry that I have been through so much pain and sufering.I'm so angry I'm afraid of what I will do if I keep turning it in on myself or directing it at others. So where does it belong? What should i do?