6 Months from Dday

Well is has been 6 months since I saw him walking to his car from her house.  I didn't sleep much last night because I had this scene of the 2 of them having sex going over and over in my head. It really HURT!!!!!  I am feeling stronger generally and less willing to make comprimises and excuses for him.  If I need need something to help me like asking questions, treating myself to a manicure I do it.  My therapist was on his side last time. I was pushing for him to talk again. It never seems to be a good time.  I saw something on a web site that I thought it was a good idea.  I wrote out what I wanted to say and the questions I wanted to ask (keeping the number short) and gave it to him with a note that he could choose the time he wanted to get back to me on this but he had only a week to do so My therapist was on his side last time.  She was saying that he is probaly grieving over the loss of his relationship with her and struggling with his guilt over that so I needed to not push. him.  Well I got mad at that and said well I was grieving too at the loss of my relationship and I didn't cause it!  She backed off of that line of talk quickly.  I gave him this envelop, he hasn't gotten back to me yet but he has been a sensitive lover again.
Whatever happens I feel like I can deal with it.  I am feeling good about myself and generally happier.

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deleted_user
deleted_user

I HEAR YOU!
I know how you feel and have been there myself.
It sure helped me to speak with a dr I found online. She does not do regular therapy any more but Really knows her stuff about all this. She was able to help me rap my head around the Whys and HOw could hes...
She was able to let me see what he is going through and how to talk to him without giving him an excuse.
If you want her info just let me know or you can find her on the web. She wrote the programs Light His Fire, & Light Her Fire. Sounds corny but she was one of the sole saving graces for me. I really benefitted from our talk and e-mail. I wrote a journal on our conversation last year, if you want to read it, please feel free.