6 months ago my life changed

John, Well babe, you have been gone 6 months now.  Who would have ever thought I would be on this solo journey.  It has been a like a rollercoaster the ups and downs, highs and lows from one extreme to the other.  I have survived because I am a survivor.  Sometime I just wanted to bury my head in the pillow and stay in bed.  And other times I would want to just run away.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  But I know from experience you have to face your problems head on and deal with them.  I have made some good choices and some bad choices.  Some I am proud of and some I am not.  But through it all lessons have been learned.  New friendships have been formed and old ones have been lost but through it all I have gained a new lease on life.  Life is too short to worry about the what if's just go for it.  Nothing gained nothing loss.  I have started working on my bucket list.  In a few weeks it will be another challenge as it will be our 33 anniversary the 1st one I will spend without you at my side.  I am trusting in "GOD" to help me through it as the next few months will be the hardest I am sure, with my birthday and the "Holidays" coming up it won't be the same.  How you loved to light up the outside of the House for the Holidays for all the kids you were like a kid yourself.  You never asked for anything you just wanted to make sure everyone else was "HAPPY", that is what I miss the most I could just look at you and smile your Heart was always wide open.  How I miss the tender kisses, the hugs, the little look in your eye when you were up to no good.  That huge smile that would light up the whole room, I guess I just miss everything about "YOU".  Well the tears are starting to flow so I will let you go for a little while.  Until we meet again "MY LOVE".  Dra'