6 months +

Well, it's Saturday and despite my best planning I am sitting home but at least I have a computer and fellow DSers to joke with. I fell lonely, sad, underappreciated, confused, and also more accepting, more spiritually based, more willing to face the future. I just started a thread about acronyms for "widow" and "widower." Funny people in sad circumstances, that's us. 
Tomorrow is Fathers' Day. I am going to a Sacred Harp Sing with my sister and will probably celebrate with my father- in- law some other time. I clean for him once or twice a week. I went to a cousin'd memorial with him this A.M. 
 
I guess at 6 months I do feel much better than I did initially. I just feel like there is a long dry desert ahead of me. I just have to keep slogging. I have many good things and people in my life but it bothers me that the best father ever is not going to be celebrating with his children and grandchildren tomorrow. I know he is happy. I'm not, not tonight. I am grateful for:
friends
family
James escaped some family conflicts
my dogs and cats
my house and new lawnmower
I made a good spice cake today
I'm a day closer to seeing J again
I have enough money, I think (God willin' and the creek don't rise.)
I have a part time job in the fall - should be fun
good neighbors
my truck
I might feel better tomorrow