6 JULY 2012 - UGH!!!
It is already the 6th day of July and I've done nothing but waste the first week of another month...why? because of others controlling my feelings...i literally forced myself to get up and go downtown to cash a check that I begrudgingly had to ask my mom for...I hate money...it is evil...but anyway...in the bank there weren't too many people but they had a greeter and two tellers and the greeter doing her job spoke to me and made me feel very uncomfortable...one teller told me she would be right with me as soon as she finished at the drive thru window...and the teller that actually cashed my check was just to friendly...so a trip to the bank and just conducting regular business with THREE people just made me soo uncomfortable and anxious
...so I leave to go home and of course I haven't eaten so I am hungry...so I go to the Whataburger in the tunnel...and it is PACKED with lunch time customers...I order my food and find a table amongst all the people...and as I sit down to wait for my food...I start to feel anxious...and shaky...i literally start to shake...i look around and there are people all around...I mean it's lunch time...and they're all talking...and I just start feeling very uncomfortable...and anxious...and shaky....my food comes and I take my time eating it as I am not so hungry anymore...and it was good but I still feel like crap....so I finish my food get a refill of my drink and head home...as I leave the packed whataburger and go out to the world...I feel a little better but not much...there is still too many people and too much noise...I realized while eating that it's people that make me sick...I don't like people...I get these anxious uncomfortable feelings anytime I am around people...whether I know them or not...I just want to be alone...I don't like people...I mean I like people like my family and friends...but I don't like being around people...People drain me of all my energy...THATS WHAT IT IS!!! People drain me of my energy...OH MY GOD...I just had an epiphany...OH WOW!!!...OK I am going to go now and try to regain my energy...I have a lot to do today and again now that all my energy is gone, I don't feel like doing anything...so I am going to go try to refuel ...see y'all later
...so I leave to go home and of course I haven't eaten so I am hungry...so I go to the Whataburger in the tunnel...and it is PACKED with lunch time customers...I order my food and find a table amongst all the people...and as I sit down to wait for my food...I start to feel anxious...and shaky...i literally start to shake...i look around and there are people all around...I mean it's lunch time...and they're all talking...and I just start feeling very uncomfortable...and anxious...and shaky....my food comes and I take my time eating it as I am not so hungry anymore...and it was good but I still feel like crap....so I finish my food get a refill of my drink and head home...as I leave the packed whataburger and go out to the world...I feel a little better but not much...there is still too many people and too much noise...I realized while eating that it's people that make me sick...I don't like people...I get these anxious uncomfortable feelings anytime I am around people...whether I know them or not...I just want to be alone...I don't like people...I mean I like people like my family and friends...but I don't like being around people...People drain me of all my energy...THATS WHAT IT IS!!! People drain me of my energy...OH MY GOD...I just had an epiphany...OH WOW!!!...OK I am going to go now and try to regain my energy...I have a lot to do today and again now that all my energy is gone, I don't feel like doing anything...so I am going to go try to refuel ...see y'all later
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