6 days

6 days today and feeling o.k.  Getting ready for work which is a good thing.  Glad to have a job to go to each day to keep my mind off of my internal gambling madness. Kept busy over the weekend and didn't think too much about gambling.  If I'm busy I don't have problems with it.  Plus we have no money, so of course I don't have a problem with it then either!  Already worried about the 30th when I get paid though.  I am going to change my overdraft protection.  I have to have a little just in case I need to pay a bill and there's not enough in there, but I certainly do not need the $1,250 that I have.  Why in the hell would they give that to me?  I guess they need someone to pay their wages too!!  Thinking about lowering it down to $200 or $300 max.  I'll try that for awhile and if that doesn't work, then I'll just have the overdraft protection removed.  So I'm preparing myself in case I cave in and gamble on that day so I at least cannot cause all the damage I have caused this month.  I'm seriously going to try to stay busy so it does not happen and by then I'll have over two weeks gamble free so maybe the urge won't be as strong.  I have to remember the damage I've done when that time comes.  I need to read my first journal entry again and remember how I felt and how my husband felt.  I need to remember the commitment I made to him and myself.  I can do this!