6.21.21 Very Hard

My break up is extremely hard.  We started fighting about 2-1/2 years into the relationship, broke up several times.  I guess I would say it is an issue on not committing, but I think really it is more.  A control think with him.  But...I let it happen.  His ex-girlfriend really did a number on him, my favored saying "I am sick of paying for your ex's mistakes" but...turns out he just isn't the right guy for me.  He never loved or respected me as he did her.  Now, I am living in his house waiting on my tenant to move out and lord this is hard.  Hard to work, crying a lot and extreme mood swings.  I am super depressed and just wanting time to go by quickly so I can start to heal.  I know this pain will go away, but...for now it is very real.  I am angry at my ex, but only because he did not love me like a I wish he would or the way I need a man to.  My goal is to get throught today, hope tomorrow is better.