Sixth day since D-Day.
Easter Weekend has been a good weekend for me. I love Holy Week, though I found this one particularly devastating. The service on Good Friday was particularly difficult, feeling full of sin and evil, even as I remembered and meditated upon Christ's sacrifice. But there is also something beautiful about it, something utterly humbling and beautiful about the sacrifice on the cross, Christ's death and resurrection. I was reminded this morning, as my BGF stood beside me in church, that THIS is why Christ had to come. My accountability partner gave me a present after Good Friday before he went home to his family for the holiday. He gave me the book "Bad Christian, Great Savior," written by members of the band Emery, one of his and my favorite bands. in many ways, that book helped me to self-realization even more than the books that are directly aimed at this sort of thing did. I know that what I did was wrong. I hate what I did, I hate that I did it. Hell, I'll probably slip back into the mire of hating myself, too. But Christ made it so that I don't have to. I'm no better or worse of a Christian than I was before I did..that. Because I am a bad Christian, all Christians are. The point is not to see if you're "doing ok," the point is to look at your heart, to see if it reflects the love that Christ has for all his people, the love that he showed almost 2000 years ago today.
I hung out with my GF all day today. We talked a lot about the future. We're both committed to getting this behind us. Yes, I hurt her, she's still in shock, physically, and there isn't going to be any physical component, beyond hugging, to our relationship for a long, long time. But that's ok. That's a consequence of my actions. However, we are both determined to move BEYOND what happened, to grow by the experience, to put in the time and effort. We admitted that maybe we'll end up not lasting while she's away, but we're at least going to try, and we're going to live day to day, not try to live in the future, but stay in the present.
one day at a time.
"But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world."
Easter Weekend has been a good weekend for me. I love Holy Week, though I found this one particularly devastating. The service on Good Friday was particularly difficult, feeling full of sin and evil, even as I remembered and meditated upon Christ's sacrifice. But there is also something beautiful about it, something utterly humbling and beautiful about the sacrifice on the cross, Christ's death and resurrection. I was reminded this morning, as my BGF stood beside me in church, that THIS is why Christ had to come. My accountability partner gave me a present after Good Friday before he went home to his family for the holiday. He gave me the book "Bad Christian, Great Savior," written by members of the band Emery, one of his and my favorite bands. in many ways, that book helped me to self-realization even more than the books that are directly aimed at this sort of thing did. I know that what I did was wrong. I hate what I did, I hate that I did it. Hell, I'll probably slip back into the mire of hating myself, too. But Christ made it so that I don't have to. I'm no better or worse of a Christian than I was before I did..that. Because I am a bad Christian, all Christians are. The point is not to see if you're "doing ok," the point is to look at your heart, to see if it reflects the love that Christ has for all his people, the love that he showed almost 2000 years ago today.
I hung out with my GF all day today. We talked a lot about the future. We're both committed to getting this behind us. Yes, I hurt her, she's still in shock, physically, and there isn't going to be any physical component, beyond hugging, to our relationship for a long, long time. But that's ok. That's a consequence of my actions. However, we are both determined to move BEYOND what happened, to grow by the experience, to put in the time and effort. We admitted that maybe we'll end up not lasting while she's away, but we're at least going to try, and we're going to live day to day, not try to live in the future, but stay in the present.
one day at a time.
"But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world."
Replies
Need2, I\'m glad that you and your BGF are attempting at working this out.
One day at a time.
Big hugs to you.