First day post D-Day. I don't know how I expected to feel, but I feel depressed, and worthless. I have a thousand thoughts rushing through my head at a million miles a minute, and each and every one of them is horrible. My BGF is, obviously and rightly, still angry. I've written a letter of apology, not just saying "I'm sorry," but giving her promises of how I will change, and how, though I can't make up for what I did, I will still attempt to build anew, and to make our relationship survive this. 
She says she wants to work on the relationship, but I'm worried she'll just end up wanting to break up. I couldn't blame her if she did. I really couldn't. I just hope she doesn't. But I hope she doesn't for my own sake. I don't think I can honestly hope that she stays with me if I want the best for her...