OH WHAT WONDEROUS STORIES I HAVE FOR YOU, MY DEAREST PEEPS!   Much has happened and I must share these with you as the stories are MOST remarkable.  Shall I continue?  I shall number them so you will be able to keep track!  THIS IS QUITE LONG BUT THINK YOU SHALL ENJOY!

1- I am now a definite "A" LIST party invite.  2- I am a successful motivational speaker who is expert at training one how to deal with stress. 3- I am right about all things. 4- I am running a successful "hotline" because of #3. 5- I have learned and am successful at performing amazing physical feats. 6- The adage "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" has been disproven by me. 7- LASTLY, you can find true love with a bald drooling fellow.

Let's begin, shall we? And may I advise you get a cup of coffee, a tissue to dry the tears of laughter, and tighten your Depends if that is an issue.

1- OK, I am now a definite "A" list party invite as I stayed with my youngest sister who has my 4 yr old neice when mom had the breast surgery.  My neice has the most lovely red hair and determination to match.  For whatever reason she insists my name is "Jack-son" and yes she breaks it out like that....2 words.  Her mom has tried, unsuccessfully, for close to 6 months that that was not my name.  She failed. It is now and ever shall be my name, Aunt "Jack-son".  My neice definitly has my attitude & persistence, eh? ROFLOL  Anyway, she slept with me that nite and we played a new story game I made up.  She laffed constantly while I was there as I am the adventurous one who grabs turtles, worms & such and my sis is more the AAAAAAH! type.  Yes, I, as an adult have chased my adult sister through mom's house with a tarpine I found in the road! ROFLOL  See, definately "A" list party material.

2- Further, my neice, Eliza, tends to be same attitude towards life as myself, I merely told her that she must "chill out" to be a "cool bean".  I further told her that Jesus was a "cool bean" as He didn't throw fits, etc.  So her catch phrase to all, including her mom & dad, is, yes, "chill out so you can be a cool bean."  My sister looked at me with such "love" and thanked me so much for teaching a repetitive 4 yr old such lovely things. ROFLOL ROFLOL   And yes, my sis & her hubby are learning nicely how to deal with this stress. So this covers number 2.

On to #3 - My son (19), father to Joshua, has phoned me regarding a matter, told him exactly what to do & say.  The following AM he called back in shocked awe and said "YOU WERE RIGHT!"  See, you can live to finally be smart again after the teen years. ROFLOL  My daughter is now also realizing my superior intelligence, albeit she has not yet said "You were right" but the evidence she is providing leads me to #4.

#4 - I am running an extremely successful hotline as my daughter calls multiple times per day to ask me what to do, how to do it, etc.  This is hysterical as before she moved out on her own, "beloved" daddy could do no wrong and I was treated like something that needed scraped off one's shoe.  Ah, the tides do change. ROFLOL  I know tho, that really it is God answering prayer as she has been "against" me since puberty.  However, I do have the benefit of understanding menstruation and her dad does not wish to discuss those lovely "girl" issues. ROFLOL 

#5 - Amazing physical feats.  Try this position if you dare, it works best while holding a 5 month old and bottle feeding at ungodly hours of the AM.  Bend the right leg at a right angle (and who said the geometry in Jr High is useless? ROFLOL) with the knee pointed toward the ceiling.  Left leg should form another right angle (THANK GOD FOR GEOMTRY! ROFLOL) and the knee should point forward.  Place 5 month old in crook of arm which is propped upon the over stuffed arm of the love seat and babe's bottom in crook of left angled leg and insert bottle into screaming mouth.  Hold bottle with chin and tuck drip cloth under chin as babies are always wet at both ends! Never lose grip on baby, bottle or drip cloth. ROFLOL

#6 - Old dog learned or is it re-learned new tricks?  This aforementioned position will force your body into the gap between the arm of the love seat and the back allowing you to doze ever so slightly.  This is not true sleep but does ease the blood shot look in the morning.  And should anyone ask, yes you may honestly say you've been at the bottle. ROFLOL ROFLOL  Let them worry, wonder, or in this town just plain gossip.

LASTLY #7 - Yes, you can find true love with a bald drooling fellow.  I have.  Even though he wants to party all nite and is soooooo much younger, I adore him.  He has me at his beck and call and I thank God my new meds work so I can keep up! ROFLOL  Joshua is quite the handful!

OH, one last note, paybacks always come around, never forget my dear peeps. Joshua needed changing the other day (not him so much as his diaper! LOL) and as I was applying powder to his reddish bottom, he kicked the powder and caused a blizzard in the diaper.  WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY DO?????  What any wise all know amazing grammie would do......make the diaper extra snug, hand him to his parents and warn them of the impending snow slide when they changed him again! ROFLOL ROFLOL

Joshua is now back asleep, praise God, and I am back to bed.  Please forgive the misspellings as I've no coffee,  and I've been "at the bottle."  ROFLOL ROFLOL 

Love and hugs to all.