Just Another Day

Well it has been a while since I last got on. I feel awesome. Though there are times that feel shitty, but most days are great. Char and I have actually started sleeping in the same bed. The kids are actually shocked by it. We have plans to start losing weight too. It will be light workouts followed by some intense love making later. Gotta get in that 'sex-er-size" right?!! I really haven't thought much of lil-peepee.  I hope the same for her too. I asked her how it all happened the other day. Asked her what it was that made her feel the way she did about him. It may have been a lie, but it was a good one. I feel good with her answer. It made me feel like shit, but at least I know where I need work. I told her that her guilt is nothing compared to the pain that I feel. She began to cry. I feel bad for that, but, she needed to know where I stand and how I feel. It has been about a month since I found out. But yet I feel like it was years ago. Yes I still hurt, but my happiness is overtaking the feelings of anger. 
She recently told me that she wants to add another woman in to the mix. I still don't know how to take it. She has brought it up before, but all that was supposed to end when we got married. In my mind I question it. Is it for her too feel better about her infidelity? Or, is it for my benefit? As a horn-dawg, I'd love to have another women in the mix. But as a married man, I dont want it. I feel like if it is what she wants, she can have it out with her and I will just watch. Kinda sounds creepy when I read it. But who knows. After what she did I feel like no other woman would be with me anyway. I was on top of the world before it happened. But I guess because of my new insecurity, I feel that way.
I guess enough for today!
Gabriel