I have had a rough week.My youngest son had to have emergency surgery on Monday for his apendix[sp?].He came through real good but the surgeon said he needed to have his gall bladder out too but he couldn't do it at the same time because my son's gall bladder is up higher than most people and he would have had to cut him twice.So he will have that surgury toward the end of September when he has recovered from this one.I called his father while he was in surgery and he said he didn't have time to come see him and that I was the one who wanted to have him and I should be theone to take care of him not him.My son has practically begged his father to love him and be there for him and his father refuses.I was so mad that I beleive if I had been near him I would have did my best to kill him.He needs and deserves his father's love and his fatehr refuses him. the babies have been especially difficult this week.I think maybe it has to do with them spending their first night away from me Monday.I have never been away from them longer than to run to the store and right back.Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy because most of the time I don't have any adult contact.Mhusband gets up around 8 am and leaves to go to his friends garage and doesn't return until 11,12 at night.I feel so alone.I never see him or if I call him he never has time to talk to me.If I go to see him at the garage I get the feeling I'm not wanted there.So I just stay home alone with the children.I don't go see my family because they are always busy or they do things that I don't want around the babies.I don't even have internet at home now and have to use someone else's computer to even come on here,so I don't have that to rely on either.I can't afford day care so I can get a little break and there are no 'MOTHERS DAY OUT' PROGRAMS in my town either so I am with them 24-7 and have been for almost 2 years.I don't regret anything I have done fro them but I am so tired.I am in bad need of at least a 1 day break.Aday just for me to do anything I want.
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Oh I hear what you are saying! One thing I learned with my son is that I can not MAKE his father love him or want to spend time with him. Men like him will die lonely old men and then it will hit them on now they did their family. That is the only consolation I can give ya there.
I hope your son continues to recover and does well with the gall bladder surgery also. Please keep us posted.
As for the kids I totally understand where you are coming from. It is like we no longer fit in anywhere. Our friends don\'t have young children so we don\'t fit into anything our friends do because we have small children now. Our family has raised their children and are off doing things that people do at our age. We don\'t fit in the crowd that has young children because of our age difference.. so... here we are... day after day with the children. When I raised my kids I did not mind staying home all of the time with them. We never had sitters and anything we did we took the kids with or we didn\'t go.
I think this time is so different because we had our children raised or almost raised and could finally see the freedom to do the things we wanted to do. But, unexpectedly our plans changed and we have little ones again. And, we have to be both parent and grandparent to the little ones. But you and I know that we would not have it any other way but we do need to be able to find time for our self.
Have you checked into your local Department on Aging to see if they have any services available to you as far as being able to get some respite care? Also, if DCFS is still involved they will pay for daycare for the children and that would give you a break. I hope you are able to get some rest soon and please know that you are not alone and we are here for you.
))))HUGS((((
There is a program my sister has with Grandparents raising grandchildren in our area that provides my 20 hours per week of respite care so she can do things around the house, go grocery shopping or just sit down with a cup of tea. It is a government program, check with your local programs or grandparent agency in your area. I hope it helps, God Bless you and I hope you get some help soon. You really sound like you need some time to yourself. I am in different circumstances because I care for my mother who has dementia and cant leave her for long periods of time either and sometimes feel like I am losing it. Take care of yourself. hugs jrmom
I\'m sorry you\'ve been having such a tough time lately. I hope your som will recover quickly from both surgeries.
It\'s tough having no respite. I don\'t have any either. Fortunately my son is learning to play on his own for up to half an hour. Do your grandbabies nap? Maybe you can get small breaks at their nap time until you can et a real break. Do they have Disability caseworkers, thats where I first got respite information. I hope you get a break soon.