I have had a rough week.My youngest son had to have emergency surgery on Monday for his apendix[sp?].He came through real good but the surgeon said he needed to have his gall bladder out too but he couldn't do it at the same time because my son's gall bladder is up higher than most people and he would have had to cut him twice.So he will have that surgury toward the end of September when he has recovered from this one.I called his father while he was in surgery and he said he didn't have time to come see him and that I was the one who wanted to have him and I should be theone to take care of him not him.My son has practically begged his father to love him and be there for him and his father refuses.I was so mad that I beleive if I had been near him I would have did my best to kill him.He needs and deserves his father's love and his fatehr refuses him.     the babies have been especially difficult this week.I think maybe it has to do with them spending their first night away from me Monday.I have never been away from them longer than to run to the store and right back.Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy because most of the time I don't have any adult contact.Mhusband gets up around 8 am and leaves to go to his friends garage and doesn't return until 11,12 at night.I feel so alone.I never see him or if I call him he never has time to talk to me.If I go to see him at the garage I get the feeling I'm not wanted there.So I just  stay home alone with the children.I don't go see my family because they are always busy or they do things that I don't want around the babies.I don't even have internet at home now and have to use someone else's computer to even come on here,so I don't have that to rely on either.I can't afford day care so I can get a little break and there are no 'MOTHERS DAY OUT' PROGRAMS in my town either so I am with them 24-7 and have been for almost 2 years.I don't regret anything I have done fro them but I am so tired.I am in bad need of at least a 1 day break.Aday just for me to do anything I want.