So as it is the weekend i ended up in the emergancy room today, i followed advice of some people on here. the feeling i had/have was getting worse and i felt too physically weak to do anything. I have had heart problems in the past and when i told my dad he took me straight to the hospital, i was so scared and the panic only made me feel worse. The people there where really good though and i had various tests. The doctor told me it could be a number of things, and could be related to my eating disorder. My mum thinks it is. I cant bare the thought of it being related even though i know it is a definate possiblity. I hate the thought that i could have bought this on, and i really dont want to be hurting myself in this way, but although i fight i am caught in this way of living and i cant seem to let go, cuz even though i am scared of these heart problems i also am scared of letting go of the possible reason for them, and i just dont know if i can let go. i'm torn. I have some tablets now, cuz the doctor said it is quite likely i have an inflammed heart muscle and inflammedchet muscles (whatever that means), and so the pills should hopefully help with that. I am going to be away for 2 weeks now, i will miss coming on here, and will if i get the chance.
Replies
Thanks for your note to me. I\'m sorry you ended up in the ER, but I\'m glad you went and got some medicine that will hopefully help you. Yes, I too believe it would be a sin to give up. Today when I was driving I thought how I\'m \"down on the ground\" but that\'s just a fact. My choice is what I do with this moment \"on the ground\" if I see and stay there, or if I with God\'s help push forward for health.
with Christ,
allthingspossible
Hugs to you
man, i\'m sorry to hear u had to go to emerg and get that scare. i was hospitalized for my Ed and it is tough knowing that u could have prevented certain health scares, but u can\'t put that blame on yourself...you obviously don\'t WANT to be living this way, so just keep that in mind and give urself a break by telling urself it\'s not u it\'s Ed, and as soon as u kick ed out of ur life then u won\'t be ending up in the emerg or anything like that ;)
ps --- question....what did u mean when u said \"I\'m scared of letting go of the possible reason for them\".....explain exactly what u mean by that - i\'m intrigued.
i hope ur vacay\'s going well!! :)