I am finding it so difficult to eat right now, but i know i have to, so i do, it takes ages, i sit there urging as i try to feed myself, holding back the tears.  I have just managed to eat some fruit, and now all i want to do is be sick, i am trying so hard not too, it feels so horrible, i want to be completely empty.  I thought i would write on here as a distraction and hopefully i can hold on and keep the food down...