Not really a good day. I feel awful for everything i put in my mouth. Last night my mum critised what i was eating, which made me feel even more guilty. she does try to help, she is writing out menus for dinners and the family has to sit down together and eat, it is the same as what wedid when i was recovering first a few years ago.  In a way its good, but it is also so difficult, it makes me so scared and anxious while i wait to eat and as i sit down and eat, its so diffcult to not sit there and cry. I did something i knew i shouldnt have today, i purged, its not something i have ever done much, but i have twice in the last few days. I've had to stop myself from falling into it so many times, so i guess i have to make sure i dont do it again. I have heard so many times of anorexics who get bulimia, i dont want that to ever be me, i feel i already have too much to fight.....