As of October 29, 2008 I met my goal in full. I had hoped that he would do the right thing and work therapy, so that we could possibly work towards reconcilling at some point in the future. No such luck. He emerged from therapy and even more bitter, self centered, self focused, angry and selfish man. What can I say? I doubted myself for so long and I second guessed my perception of our relationship with a great deal of help from him. I painfully see him for who is really is: a man who is so depraved as to emotionally abuse me, thus undermining my self worth so as to keep me with him. He could not simply llove me and let me grow. His love is toxic. He stunted my growth as a wife, a mother, and as a human being. I ask God what did I do to deserve this, but He has not responded yet. I'm trying to be of the mindset that He will heal me and restore me to emotional health. For this I wait>
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I hate that selfish bastard! we are divorced now and he has offered me no explanation as to why he expressed so much apathy during the whole marriage and divorce process. He got angry with me today and told me that because I left, he is over at the home we once shared sexually frustrated and masterbating at least 3 times a day. Like this is my problem. As he is home during the daytime, I asked him months ago to find a couples councelor so that we can make a last ditch effort to hopefully salvage some of our marriage and to address obstacles to our communication. It has been months and not only has he not lifted a finger to do this, but he told me yesterday (after the umpteenth time I\'ve asked him about it), that he was not going to spend anymore money on therapy. I was so crushed. I spent the last 20 years providing all of his needs and overlooking the fact that I felt alone, invisible and empty. After all of the effort I put into our marriage, he has reduced 20 years of my life to continuing to insiste that I be a piece of ass to him and to money. If I was blind to the ways of this selfish bastard, now I see with clarity! It is so devastating!
I am back on this site after a long period of abscence. It is 19 post divorce. I met a man about 8 months ago. He is very socially outgoing and I am not; therefore, I like him because I wanted him to expose me to social situations. Anyway, he likes to go to the clubs and do kareoke. He has been on the party scene for many years and he is very well known. He gets a lot of attention from women, which I am learning to deal with. Now that I have been exposed, I don\'t feel that I want this to become a lifestyle. I told him this and he told me that this is who he is. We also discussed compromise, which he agreed to. We love each other, but I don\'t know if our love will last over time if I get discouraged with feeling that I have to keep up with him socially. Also, he does not make nearly as much money as I do and I think that he spends to much money on social activities. Both of these issues are a source of anxiety for me as I don\'t want to be in a relationship with too many problems.