11:40 amAfter not talking with my ex all weekend, since we had established that we are not going to talk to each other for a month since we fight too much and only talk about our son and business stuff, he sends me this in an email: Andrea, I just wanted to let you know that I can give you $100 right now. I can transfer it later today.   Also, I know we're trying to stick to just talking about Wesley and finances, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for some of the careless things I've said lately. I was also thinking about how you got me a b-day present even though you didn't need to and how your card still makes Chelsea and I laugh... (COMPUTERLESS WIRE! hahaha). Anyway, I know you need your time and space, but I just wanted to let you know those things that were on mind. I hope Wesley had a good weekend. Let me know when he sees my other message or have him write me.   Bye for now,  Ryan I have been trying to stay away, because he says he doesn't want to be with me, and then he sends me emails like this that give me false hope that maybe there are still feelings there on his part and that there is still a chance that we can be together. (Just so you know, Chelsea is his sister that has been living with him) I know that this email doesn't really say much, but this is the pattern of how it starts. We don't talk for a couple days saying that I need my space from him if I am going to need to move on, then he sends me a message that says he is thinking about me, then he might call me and say he misses me and would like to maybe spend some time with me and our son, then he will jsut go back to not wanting to be with me. So then I have to start all over again. I am tired of the rollercoaster of emotions.  Why does he even want to tell me what is on his mind? I know that he has still been thinking about me. Maybe this space is something that he needs to realize that I am not always going to be there and might make those feelings come back and make him change. I am not going to depend on that though, so I am still moving on. I am open to meeting other guys and dating. I don't want a serious relationship with anyone right now, but if my ex said that he wanted to work on things then I would do that, but at the same time date around. What if he is not the one for me anyway, what if I find someone else that is perfect for me? Especially since we are divorced now.  I would have to see that he is really committed to me.  Anyway, I am not going to respond to his message at all right now. He knows that I got it. I am keeping to what I said, I am not going to talk to him for the next month. Plus, sometimes I think that he has alterior motives for things like this. To get what he wants, that is how he works. If his family is going to be in town and he wants to have our son, for about a week before he will be nice to me and then slowly slip in that his family is going to be here and they would like to see our son. His sister is getting married on 11/11/07 and wanted our son to be the ring bearer. I told my ex that I really didn't think it was a good idea anyway that I be there and that it is really awkward having our son in the wedding considering, "he is the reason we are all in this mess". I got pregnant so he felt it right to marry me. Whatever! My ex doesn't believe in marriage, yet he is going to also be in the wedding that is starting the same way ours did. My ex and I started planning our wedding on 10/08/07, and were married 11/18/00. They started planning the wedding on 10/3/07 and they are getting married on 11/11/07. She is pregnant and that is why they are getting married so quickly. We already had a child, but wanted to spend the holidays together and that is why we planned it so quickly. He thought we did things wrong and look how they turned out, yet he is totally supporting them in all the decisions telling them it is the best decision. Then he tells me that he thinks the same thing is going to happen to them that has happened to us. What a hypocrit.Well, I am home for the day. My son was running a fever last night so I am keeping him home from school, plus I am not feeling good either, so I am going to rest while we are here.