8:22 amI have realized that I really need to keep my distance from my ex. If it weren't for him saying that he missed me and wanted to work things out a month ago, I wouldn't be in this place. I had pretty much moved on, but I do still have love for him and he gave me hope that we could be together again. He just keeps going back and forth. He wants to be with me, so he will start coming around more, then he wants his freedom, so his leaves again, then he misses me and wants to see me everyday again. I can't handle this back and forth anymore. I always tell myself that I am not going to answer his phone calls, but then I think, what if this is "the" phone call. The one where he tells me he has made a mistake and wants to be with me. Then if I don't answer, I have missed out on my chance to have what I have wanted so badly. But I guess that if he comes to that point, missing one phone call is not going to ruin that chance. But I can't be going back and forth anymore. When I start to think that I can move on, he comes around and gives me false hope.Like when I got my tattoo, it was strange. He acted very angry that another man was touching me. I got the tattoo, on my chest, and he said in a very sarcastic way, "how did it feel to have another man touching your breast?" Was that jealousy that I heard in his voice? Yes, but I wonder how it felt to be in bed with another women. How did it feel to have his entire body next to hers. That is where I am supposed to be. He had not right to be acting jealous. Not only that, but the man was not touching me in any sexual way. He was giving me a tattoo, dangit. See what I mean about the false hope? It just doesn't make sense. He tells me he loves me and he cries and says he misses me, but then he doesn't want to be with me.I guess I am just writing to get my thoughts out. I need to do this, it helps me to sort out my feelings about things.