3:00 pmI am having a hard day. Today is my ex's birthday and he is not going to be spending it with anyone except his band buddies. Pretty nice, huh? Considering it is the band that ruined my family. We are going to see him tomorrow night for dinner. It is going to be his parents and me and our son. That will be nice to visit with his mom again. Even though we had rough times and did not get along at the beginning of our marriage, she has been really supportive of me. She didn't want us to get divorced. When I told him how he acted at the divorce hearing she cried and said that it sounds like there is still hope for us and she knows that he still loves me. I am not going to get my hopes up though. Well, my hopes are up but realistically, I don't see it happening. I jsut miss him so much. And it hurts so bad to not be able to give him the love that I have for him. He will not accept my love.