5/6/07 4:14 pm
I fell into temptation and saw my husband last night. Nothing happened, but it did not help with the moving on part. I was talking with a friend this morning at church and I was telling her how weird it is that my husband is totally opposite from most people. Most spouses say they want to stay in the relationship, but their actions don't show it. My hsuband says he does not want a relationship, but his actions shows that he does. The only reason I actually saw him last night is because he wanted me to come over to his house and pick up some of my stuff. Oh yeah, he also wanted to have dinner with me and watch a movie. He ended up coming back to my house, since I told him I didn't want to be out late and wanted to go home, so he just came over. He stayed until about 12 midnight and just wanted to talk; about stuff, about us. If that is not a relationsip, then I don't know what is. He asked if I have been on any dates, he wanted to talk about his goals and dreams. But he doesn't want a relationship with me, or anyone. If you ask me, he just doesn't want commitment and now that he knows he could lose me for good, he is questioning if that is what he really wants. I just can't handle this emotional roller coaster. He called this afternoon also; wanted to come over.
I just wish that he would make up his mind. I am ready to make it up for him, but my Sunday School teacher is telling me that I really need to listen to what God is telling me to do. The problem there is that I am done waiting for him and I am afraid that God is going to tell me something I don't want to hear. And here is the reason why; I met someone who I know that I could fall in love with and could be with for the rest of my life. He is everything that I always hoped my husband would become, and now I am not available to be in that relationship because we are still married, but can be if I just do the divorce myself. Plus, I know that I can be happy with him. Now, what if God tells me to wait and my husband still never changes. Will he ever be the man I want for a husband? Then I will have missed out on this wonderful opportunity to be with an awesome man.
My husband said that he can sense the change of heart that I have had, and can tell that I am torn between what I want, what I think I want and what I believe is morally right and Christ-like. I am going in so many different directions that I am not sure how much farther I can be spread.
Oh and by the way, my surgery went great and now I am seeing 20/20.
I fell into temptation and saw my husband last night. Nothing happened, but it did not help with the moving on part. I was talking with a friend this morning at church and I was telling her how weird it is that my husband is totally opposite from most people. Most spouses say they want to stay in the relationship, but their actions don't show it. My hsuband says he does not want a relationship, but his actions shows that he does. The only reason I actually saw him last night is because he wanted me to come over to his house and pick up some of my stuff. Oh yeah, he also wanted to have dinner with me and watch a movie. He ended up coming back to my house, since I told him I didn't want to be out late and wanted to go home, so he just came over. He stayed until about 12 midnight and just wanted to talk; about stuff, about us. If that is not a relationsip, then I don't know what is. He asked if I have been on any dates, he wanted to talk about his goals and dreams. But he doesn't want a relationship with me, or anyone. If you ask me, he just doesn't want commitment and now that he knows he could lose me for good, he is questioning if that is what he really wants. I just can't handle this emotional roller coaster. He called this afternoon also; wanted to come over.
I just wish that he would make up his mind. I am ready to make it up for him, but my Sunday School teacher is telling me that I really need to listen to what God is telling me to do. The problem there is that I am done waiting for him and I am afraid that God is going to tell me something I don't want to hear. And here is the reason why; I met someone who I know that I could fall in love with and could be with for the rest of my life. He is everything that I always hoped my husband would become, and now I am not available to be in that relationship because we are still married, but can be if I just do the divorce myself. Plus, I know that I can be happy with him. Now, what if God tells me to wait and my husband still never changes. Will he ever be the man I want for a husband? Then I will have missed out on this wonderful opportunity to be with an awesome man.
My husband said that he can sense the change of heart that I have had, and can tell that I am torn between what I want, what I think I want and what I believe is morally right and Christ-like. I am going in so many different directions that I am not sure how much farther I can be spread.
Oh and by the way, my surgery went great and now I am seeing 20/20.
Replies
God will give you direction, you just ahve to be willing to go where He directs. If you move on to another man, you will end up being sorry, if God didn\'t direct it. On the other hand, only you know what God tells you. Take your Bible in your hand, and ask God to show you in His Word, what you need to know. He never fails.
Have you ever heard that story about the man stranded on the roof during a flood? What if God is sending you the boat and you don\'t hop on it?
Don\'t let anybody tell you what to do. You have the answer in your heart.
When you first married your husband, I bet you thought he was wonderful and loving and someone you thought you could be with forever, but that changed. This new one that you seem to be interested in. He can also end up being someone you love, and later get hurt by him as well. Don\'t let the devil tell you lies. Seek out a life for yourself. Without husband without boyfriend. You need God and only God for now. Then you can be still and know for sure what he wants for you.
With all my heart,
Tricia
What is the basis for the separation between you and your husband? Also sometimes there\'s a fear of getting back together with someone who has already hurt you, I speak this on both sides of husband and wife. You seemed to want to get back with your husband and when he started getting closer you backed up some. You interestingly referred to going to be with your husband as temptation, the adversary distorts the truth. I don\'t hear issues of safety or infidelity in this marriage. Keep this in prayer, I know what you mean about hearing God tell you what you are not wanting to hear... you already know the answer. I went thru the same. The Lord bless you and protect you!