5/1/07 9:15 am
So I woke up this morning thinking that I have had a change of heart. I have so much love to give, so why am I wasting on someone who doesn't want it? Why not give it to someone who would appreciate it and recipricate it? I have met some very wonderful men who have so much to give and are willing to give it to me, so why am I so stuck on give my love to my husband? Those are some of the questions that I was asking myself this morning as I was getting ready for work. And I was pretty secure in my response to myself. Don't do it anymore. Don't waste your emotions on someone who rarely cares. Don't be a weekend wife, be a full time lover.
Then my husband throws me for a loop and calls this morning. I was really not expecting hearing from him all week. He called my cell and left a message (since I was not able to get the call). He called to say that he hopes we have a good day and that Wesley has a good day at school. He ends the message by saying, in these exact words, "I love you guys!" I just don't know what to make of it. He seems to be making an effort for real this time. It is not just a weekend thing. Is it because he has realized that he could lose me for good. I am not one to brag, but I think that I am a very special beautiful person and I have alot to offer. He called me while he was on his way to work this morning. Now I am more confused then before. I start to open myself to fall in love, hard with someone that I just met. Someone that I know will love me back. Someone who has the same World View as me and attends the same denomination of church as me. I shouldn't even say that because I don't even know him that well. We have only talked once and emailed several times. But I have opened my heart to that option. He seems to be everything that I have always wanted. Why can't my husband be that person? Right now? Is he trying to be that person?
Anyway, those are just a few things going on in this confusing little mind of mine. Thought maybe some of you would like to have a little peek.
So I woke up this morning thinking that I have had a change of heart. I have so much love to give, so why am I wasting on someone who doesn't want it? Why not give it to someone who would appreciate it and recipricate it? I have met some very wonderful men who have so much to give and are willing to give it to me, so why am I so stuck on give my love to my husband? Those are some of the questions that I was asking myself this morning as I was getting ready for work. And I was pretty secure in my response to myself. Don't do it anymore. Don't waste your emotions on someone who rarely cares. Don't be a weekend wife, be a full time lover.
Then my husband throws me for a loop and calls this morning. I was really not expecting hearing from him all week. He called my cell and left a message (since I was not able to get the call). He called to say that he hopes we have a good day and that Wesley has a good day at school. He ends the message by saying, in these exact words, "I love you guys!" I just don't know what to make of it. He seems to be making an effort for real this time. It is not just a weekend thing. Is it because he has realized that he could lose me for good. I am not one to brag, but I think that I am a very special beautiful person and I have alot to offer. He called me while he was on his way to work this morning. Now I am more confused then before. I start to open myself to fall in love, hard with someone that I just met. Someone that I know will love me back. Someone who has the same World View as me and attends the same denomination of church as me. I shouldn't even say that because I don't even know him that well. We have only talked once and emailed several times. But I have opened my heart to that option. He seems to be everything that I have always wanted. Why can't my husband be that person? Right now? Is he trying to be that person?
Anyway, those are just a few things going on in this confusing little mind of mine. Thought maybe some of you would like to have a little peek.
Replies
Boy, I don\'t envy you. That\'s a tough choice their, what is in your best interest? Your kids best interest? How do you really feel about your H and is it enough for you? I think you need to look at it from a pros and cons list, it might help set everything in black and white for you.
Tough spot to be in. I could cut and paste alot of what you said into my pages (but then I would owe you all kinds of royalties and stuff LOL). It is hard when you are soo attached to someone and nothing you do brings them any closer to you. It just sucks.
That is a tough choice. My only advice is not to let him back in too quickly. This is the same thing I am going through. My ex says she loves me, she wants to visit, she calls me 3-4 times a day, emails, but when it really comes down to it, I don;t know her intentions. She lies and for all I know has a boyfriend and I am the backup. I am sorting through this too. Be sure to protect yourself and you child. I hope all goes well for you!
You have a choice to make. As a Christian, what do you believe is right? Use what God tells you, not hurt feelings, or what others say. People can give lots of good advice, but God is the one who you need to listen to.
Sweetie,
I don\'t know exactly what you are feeling, but I am a similar relationship where I love him but he is no good for me. I think you really deserve someone who will love you and not just because you have children together. My husband did that to me and I am feeling awlful because of it. I could have such a different life right now if he just came clean with me sooner. So Do you want to wait and see (and this could take years) how it turns up, or do you want to start over and find happiness in your life ( and not necessarily by a new lover). You can find happiness in helping others, spending extra time with kids, and so much more. You can do anything you put your mind to. You just have to brave to start doing the work to get there.
You are in my prayers,
Tricia
Seek the guidance of your Heavenly Father, He knows you thoughts, and your wants, trust Him with this and He will show you the plans He has for you. The Lord Bless you!