4/30/07 9:30 am
So this weekend was beautiful in all areas. The sun shone everyday and the weather was warm. I spent alot of time with my husband. We had dinner togther again on Saturday night and he ended up spend the night and staying for most of the morning on Saturday. He wanted us to go to lunch on Sunday afternoon before he had to get to work so we did. He is showing more interest in me and in being a family. He makes it a point to give me a hug when he leaves and tell me that he misses me. I am continueing to pray for him. We did talk about our relationship, which I think that he finally came to the realization that we do have a relationship. He says that he has closed his heart to relationships and so it is hard for him to think about a relationship. We talked about just keeping on the path that we are on now, with seeing each other when we have freetime and still having our own personal lives. That is actually a healthy dating relationship. He is not seeing anyone else and neither am I so it is somewhat "exclusive". It is just that we are not living together and we are not spending every single minute together like we did when we were living together. I know that he needs to feel like he has some freedom and that he is his own person and I think he is starting to really feel that now, even in a relationship with me. For some reason he always felt that I was smothering him. I probably was. But he is now starting to see that we can have our separate interests and lives but still share our lives with each other. Does that make sense? To me it does. But if we move forward and into the next step of the relationship; moving back in with each other, then there will be boundaries and lines drawing of where we both stand. I posted those things in a previous journal.
Anyway, I thought I would let you all know what is going on and hope that this may be encouraging to some of you.
So this weekend was beautiful in all areas. The sun shone everyday and the weather was warm. I spent alot of time with my husband. We had dinner togther again on Saturday night and he ended up spend the night and staying for most of the morning on Saturday. He wanted us to go to lunch on Sunday afternoon before he had to get to work so we did. He is showing more interest in me and in being a family. He makes it a point to give me a hug when he leaves and tell me that he misses me. I am continueing to pray for him. We did talk about our relationship, which I think that he finally came to the realization that we do have a relationship. He says that he has closed his heart to relationships and so it is hard for him to think about a relationship. We talked about just keeping on the path that we are on now, with seeing each other when we have freetime and still having our own personal lives. That is actually a healthy dating relationship. He is not seeing anyone else and neither am I so it is somewhat "exclusive". It is just that we are not living together and we are not spending every single minute together like we did when we were living together. I know that he needs to feel like he has some freedom and that he is his own person and I think he is starting to really feel that now, even in a relationship with me. For some reason he always felt that I was smothering him. I probably was. But he is now starting to see that we can have our separate interests and lives but still share our lives with each other. Does that make sense? To me it does. But if we move forward and into the next step of the relationship; moving back in with each other, then there will be boundaries and lines drawing of where we both stand. I posted those things in a previous journal.
Anyway, I thought I would let you all know what is going on and hope that this may be encouraging to some of you.
Replies
That\'s excellent! A lot of relationships fall apart because people lose their individuality, and feel in that way like they have lost themselves. Sometimes you need to give people a chance to miss you. A strong relationship is where there are two separate people in a relationship, and not just John and Jane: joined at the spleen. :) I hope things continue to improve.
Glad to here things are going well. Take care.
I am so happy for you, and I have a dear friend who also went thru something similar. I must say I am envying you, tonight I couldn\'t even look at my soon to be ex at our son\'s baseball game. It is so scary how much has changed in such a short time span.