Today, I woke feeling not too good. I have done some things that seem to be right, so why do I feel so horrible.
This weekend was really good until about 8:00 Sunday night. But I will start with Saturday night. I was on the phone with a great friend of mine when the other line rang. It was 11:00 pm. and it was my husband calling. I thought maybe something was wrong and was scared, but then he said he just wanted to call and talk. He was crying and did say that he still wants to go through with the divorce, but he wants to start seeing me and Wesley more often and spend more time together as a family. I asked him why does he still want to go through with the divorce then? He says it is something he needs to do to be able to move on and maybe start thinking of having a relationship. In a way I can understand that since he is feeling like he married me out of obligation rather than choice. I do want him to choose me. So I called my friend back when we got off the phone and then felt the urge to pray for my husband, so I got off the phone with my friend.
I was wondering if I was going to hear from my husband again, because when it seems that things are going good, he doesn't call for a few days. Well, he did call around 5:00 on Sunday and said that he wanted to come over to have dinner with us and play games or watch a movie. So when I got out of church last night I called him back and he ended up coming over. He didn't spend the night this time, but he did show some physical affection towards me. That part really confuses me. so that evening ended good, but I guess we are still doing the divorce.
Anyway, a friend of my from church who is also the music pastor told me that I needed to end the relationship that I have with a friend that has been very supportive. I have been talking on the phone with him and he is also married and trying to reconcille with his wife. The problem is that there is more then just friendly feelings there on both side. (I hope that my friend reads this.) My pastor told me that because of the situations that we are both in we are committing adultery if we continue this emotional affair. So, I told my friend that we needed to stop talking on the phone with each other for right now. I feel like I hurt him and that hurts me. He had become very special to me and I know that is not right when I am still married and I do love my husband and want that to work out more than anything. I feel like I am going to miss my friend. I told him that I still want to keep in contact with him through email, but I am afraid that he won't even do that with me now. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I guess that if I am doing something that is in God's will and it will save my marriage, I have to do it. My heart is breaking though from the thought of not having my friend.
Please just keep me in prayers everyone, and thanks for your support.
This weekend was really good until about 8:00 Sunday night. But I will start with Saturday night. I was on the phone with a great friend of mine when the other line rang. It was 11:00 pm. and it was my husband calling. I thought maybe something was wrong and was scared, but then he said he just wanted to call and talk. He was crying and did say that he still wants to go through with the divorce, but he wants to start seeing me and Wesley more often and spend more time together as a family. I asked him why does he still want to go through with the divorce then? He says it is something he needs to do to be able to move on and maybe start thinking of having a relationship. In a way I can understand that since he is feeling like he married me out of obligation rather than choice. I do want him to choose me. So I called my friend back when we got off the phone and then felt the urge to pray for my husband, so I got off the phone with my friend.
I was wondering if I was going to hear from my husband again, because when it seems that things are going good, he doesn't call for a few days. Well, he did call around 5:00 on Sunday and said that he wanted to come over to have dinner with us and play games or watch a movie. So when I got out of church last night I called him back and he ended up coming over. He didn't spend the night this time, but he did show some physical affection towards me. That part really confuses me. so that evening ended good, but I guess we are still doing the divorce.
Anyway, a friend of my from church who is also the music pastor told me that I needed to end the relationship that I have with a friend that has been very supportive. I have been talking on the phone with him and he is also married and trying to reconcille with his wife. The problem is that there is more then just friendly feelings there on both side. (I hope that my friend reads this.) My pastor told me that because of the situations that we are both in we are committing adultery if we continue this emotional affair. So, I told my friend that we needed to stop talking on the phone with each other for right now. I feel like I hurt him and that hurts me. He had become very special to me and I know that is not right when I am still married and I do love my husband and want that to work out more than anything. I feel like I am going to miss my friend. I told him that I still want to keep in contact with him through email, but I am afraid that he won't even do that with me now. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I guess that if I am doing something that is in God's will and it will save my marriage, I have to do it. My heart is breaking though from the thought of not having my friend.
Please just keep me in prayers everyone, and thanks for your support.
Replies
Some things in life you have to fight for. And then some things just happen. If he\'s truly a friend he will be there.
Emotional affairs are still hurtful. If you both get divorced, through no fault of your own, then maybe a relationship between you is something to pursue. You can\'t risk being out of God\'s will. Nothing good comes of it. I know you know that. Good luck, and let God guide you. If your husband wants out, and you have done all that God has directed you to do, then move on. I struggle with that every day. I don\'t want the divorce, but he is in love with someone else. I can\'t fight that, only God can. If my husband chooses not to listen to God, (yours too) then that is not my fault. (nor yours) So God may have a new relationship for you (and me), but we have to do things according to His will. My prayers are with you Andrea, Good luck. :)