I am going to be seeing my husband tonight again. He is coming over to see our son. I have had a really hard day. He has just lied to me too many times and I want to believe him, but I am scared to. He will just come out and tell me the truth eventually, which when it comes to him, the truth always hurts. I am just so depressed and I really want to see him, but I am hesitating on going home, because in a way, I am so disgusted by my husband I don't want to see him. He has changed so much since I met him 8 years ago and he has become a person that I would not associate with. And so once again, why do I love him so much and want to be with him then? I hate the person he has become. In a way, I always knew it would end up this way. He hates Christianity and everything that is involved with it and my relationship with Christ is my life. I knew he would eventually hate me. In fact when we talked about the possiblity of us being together in the future he said, "One of two things needs to happen. Either I need to convert, or you need to convert and I don't see either of those things ever happening." That goes to show me that one of the main reasons he left is because of my faith. I know that I have to keep praying and wait on the Lord, but how long will I have to wait?
I guess all my questions will be answered someday.