Cali,
I appreciate your reply, and actually admire your containment at this moment in your life.
I just want to say avoiding this behavior Is a boundary to protect myself from the toxic resentment i feel from the imbalance. That resemtment was a huge part of my reasoning to relapse. So this boundary is to protect both of us for now. If we are both being asked to give up oral sex for the rest of our lives, and it keeps us safe, the I am ready.
If I am being asked to give it up for the rest of my life because she thinks its gross, but she is neither willing to try to "acquire a taste for it" like every woman I have ever heard that enjoys it had to, i am not that mature.
If she thinks it's degrading then she must have some concerns about the same act being degrading for me, right?
I appreciate your reply, and actually admire your containment at this moment in your life.
I just want to say avoiding this behavior Is a boundary to protect myself from the toxic resentment i feel from the imbalance. That resemtment was a huge part of my reasoning to relapse. So this boundary is to protect both of us for now. If we are both being asked to give up oral sex for the rest of our lives, and it keeps us safe, the I am ready.
If I am being asked to give it up for the rest of my life because she thinks its gross, but she is neither willing to try to "acquire a taste for it" like every woman I have ever heard that enjoys it had to, i am not that mature.
If she thinks it's degrading then she must have some concerns about the same act being degrading for me, right?
Replies
I don\'t know what her reasonings are, but they do need to be respected. Perhaps giving her the gift of not feeling pressure will encourage her to consider it? Maybe not. But I can\'t think of a worse way of telling her she\'s not enough for you than to make her feel bad for being unwilling to do an act that many women (honestly - including myself) are not comfortable with. Well, unless you outright told her she wasn\'t enough. That would be worse.
Have you tried to change your attitude towards your need for it? Approach the marriage bed with complete satisfaction at what you\'ve been given. Essentially, fake it till you make it....if you make it. =) I know its not easy. But if not for your sex addiction, this probably wouldn\'t be such a burden for you.
Oops I put this on my journal instead of replying because I was concerned about your current situation being more important. I just forgot to make private.
Haha, no problem. Thanks for the sensitivity. However, it\'s obvious that you\'re having issues of your own. Praying for you. And I applaud you for seeking answers. It\'s encouraging.