Day 109
Today, I am 109 Days cut free.
I have to say that it's not been easy. I feel like I have no energy. I can't sleep.. Honestly I don't really know how to handle the stress in my life right now. Things are so vastly different that I really have nothing to look back on to help me.
It sounds really silly, but I'm so nervous about dating. I'm really excited to go back to school but I am really scared to go back too because this guy who is really sweet, and charming, and funny, and all these great things (and a few bad things too, I'll get there) is making it known that he's interested in me. I go to a Christian school, and unfortunately, many of the females around me put a huge emphasis on the "ring by spring" BS. And even though I think it's BS, I STILL want it. So this is my sophomore year... if I start dating this guy, either it goes well and we live happily ever after, or it goes south and I avoid him on the smallest campus in history. SO then what? What if I get my ring by spring? Then like, we're in love.
I know it sounds sad but I'm afraid because he's nice to me. Even when I'm single, I'm waiting for someone to start abusing me, like a friend or maybe my brother. Sometimes I want it to happen just so I don't have to watch over my shoulder until someone finally hurts me. Perhaps that's the hardest part. Knowing that's mostly what I expect from everyone.
I have to say that it's not been easy. I feel like I have no energy. I can't sleep.. Honestly I don't really know how to handle the stress in my life right now. Things are so vastly different that I really have nothing to look back on to help me.
It sounds really silly, but I'm so nervous about dating. I'm really excited to go back to school but I am really scared to go back too because this guy who is really sweet, and charming, and funny, and all these great things (and a few bad things too, I'll get there) is making it known that he's interested in me. I go to a Christian school, and unfortunately, many of the females around me put a huge emphasis on the "ring by spring" BS. And even though I think it's BS, I STILL want it. So this is my sophomore year... if I start dating this guy, either it goes well and we live happily ever after, or it goes south and I avoid him on the smallest campus in history. SO then what? What if I get my ring by spring? Then like, we're in love.
I know it sounds sad but I'm afraid because he's nice to me. Even when I'm single, I'm waiting for someone to start abusing me, like a friend or maybe my brother. Sometimes I want it to happen just so I don't have to watch over my shoulder until someone finally hurts me. Perhaps that's the hardest part. Knowing that's mostly what I expect from everyone.
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