Tonight is bad.My anxiety is at what I would call a 8 out of 10. All day, up and down, no reason. I feel like I'm being hit by a truck. Today I couldn't eat (well I managed to keep a bagel down, but it was not easy), I couldn't breathe more than once, I cried quite a lot through out the day... and for what? Well, the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death.I swear, I don't know where the day went. I technically did a lot but I've been up for over 24 hours and I could tell you what I did for maybe... 3 hours of that. I'm just all over the place. I feel fine, then I drop again. What's going on?! It's really a bothersome thing, for me and for those around me. Now I've been sitting on my bed, holding a razor blade. Putting it down. Picking it up. Putting it down. Picking it up. Do I want to do this? Do I want to risk going to the hospital and looking as bad as I feel? Do I want another blood soaked towel to be ruined?
Is my life even worth it anymore?
How can I possibly keep doing this?
Life doesn't feel worth it.