Well... I feel really alone right now... My so called soul sister seems to be way too busy to talk... and to me its like she does not want to make the time... if she did she would... but instead I am left trying to show her I need her, and then feeling more upset at the fact she is too busy to even hear my cry...
My ex friend is trying to get back into my life, by being nice to me and talking to me a lot.. and I am trying very hard not to tell her stuff as we are not friends. But right now I need a friend and she is the only one who is really talking to me... So I am very close to just allowing her back into my life, even though she has caused so much hurt and I know she will once again if I do... But right now I just want someone to talk to... so its very hard...
 
I really just want to give up... give up trying... give up meds, give up trying not to cut... just want to give up on everything I have worked so hard on... Why? well the only reason why I have stopped or tired was for my goals in life.. and now knowing that I cant ever become a person in the army bc of my ptsd and really my life is just fucked... so everything I once gave up... I feel why not just go back to it???
 
I really dont know... I wish that I would just die.