57 days smoke free

Good group today! We were give a lot of information on bipolar,instructions for taking medications, lists of support groups in the area, positive coping strategies for stress, and lots more useful info and I got to see a nutritionist. Had to rate my depression on a scale from 1-10 today it was an 8. It was hard getting out of bed, glad I got there.. I am really tempted to go back and see my old pdoc. I never felt this bad when I saw him. I am not happy with this pdoc I have seen him twice. I feel likeI am getting worce. It sucks. I cry all the time. All this new pdoc talks about is putting me in the hospital, my old pdoc who I saw for 5 years never mentioned putting me in the hospital once!!!!! I'm confused...Its very scarey.. Any suggestions from my DS Friends?
This has been a very rough period of time for me and my son, thats why I took my son to a therapist today to discuss Bipolar. Dr. Fran is going to start to see my son regularly which I am happy about. It was a good appointment.  
I am so tired of this constant battle with this illness. It's exhausting!!! I Know I Don"t DRINK BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO SAY FUCK IT AND DRINK I NEED TO RELAX I NEED SOME RELIEF FROM THIS!!!!!!!! I"M TIRED OF THIS STRUGGLE !!!!!!