Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A friend of mine asked me this question today and instead of responding to her directly I thought I would write here so all could see. My friend wrote:I'd like to know at least one thing good that has come from your loss or challenge you are facing.It was hot day in summer the weather was shining, it was sunday morning, and I was at church praising GOD and praying for my husband, who was in the hospital. June 11, 2006 I will remember that day like it was yesterday, every detail of the moment when I learned he went home to live in heaven. As I write this  down my spine still shivers. And I wander what my fingers are going to type. I became a widdow and I no longer was Harry's wife. I now was a single mom to raise my son. The first few months, of the loss I hung onto the fact that he was in heaven no more pain, but I walked around dazed and confused. I still have days like that. So today I look at the question, what good came out of this walk of grief. So many changes have happened to me in the last year half. Good or bad they were designed by the Lord. 1. I have to say God taught me how to cry, how to weep, Now how many times did you hear me say I want to stop crying(don't answer) I now realize that crying is good it does let out emotions that would be locked away. Jesus wept for others. 2. GOd has made me be more compassionate to others who lost a loved one. I don't now how I felt before but now I have this yearning to go help others when I hear that they lost someone. I want to be like the ambulance driver and be right there to fix them. 3. GOd taught me what grief is, and will always be.4. God taught me that we are allowed to grieve. And it is ok to grieve. 5. I believe I am stronger emotionally, now, I also realize how time is a precious thing that we should not waste it.  I also have realized my husband was a huge part of my life that I didn't appreciate all that he did. I also am more willing now to thank anyone who helps me in any way. I want them to know how grateful I am for them. 6. i have drawn closer to GOd during this time, because i realize that I don't have the strength to do it on my own. So I must rely on him7. Laughter is a good thing and we need to do it. We can not close our eyes to the fun that awaits us.8. I feel the Lord changing me and it is so incredible, He loves us and wants us to turn to him in our time of need. I learned that I can't do it on my own. God loved me enough and sent his son to die, for me to be forgiven. WHat sacrafice do I give my Lord. 9. I have learned to allow to recieve things from others. I was always a giver, and had a hard time recieving. How sweet it is that I am learning to recieve finally at age 40.10. The last thing that I can say in this walk of grief, is I have realized that we will all take on different roads. We will all see new things, and be new things. God loves me and is here for me. He is changing me for his purpose and plan in my life. If I was asked would I turn back the clock. Of course I would say yes give me one more moment with my husband. But I have learned so much. I can't express, how much. But I know that God is moving me to  a new life, and he is my guide.I would never have made it this far with out my friends, here at ds. Thanks so much for your encouragement love and caring along this journey with me.