Reflection, today being the end of 2007, brings so many different things to my mind. How I am becoming to the end of the year and still so many unanswered questions. But I am not fretting on that today. And for some odd reason I am not worried about them not being answered. So many things have happened over the last year. Oh boy, you would think that many years have past with all the events that have happened. One thing I look at this year is depression, and anxiety that came in my life. Well I never thought I would be so sadden that it would be an emotional roller coaster. It is like I was trapped on that Merry Go Round. And it was a slow pace but a fast pace. I learned a lot about myself during that time. ALthough sometimes I feel I am not off the ride. I know I am healthier. And that is a good thing. I think GOd made me go through this because I had to understand it I had to know the feelings that dwelt inside of me. I really don't know if anyone can understand that. But I know that it is part of who I am now. I once refered myself as a hollow broken egg. With no contents on the ground inside. 2007, has made reflect on a lot of things. God is so awesome, because he allowed me to go through it all. ANd never left myside. I am now seeing myself as a vase the vase is only filled with some water. But there a beautiful roses in it. The water represents the tears I cry and will cry. The roses aren't dead because GOd controls these roses. They don'tneed plant food. They just need God. The roses represent each part of this walk of grief. The anger, the lonliness, the acceptence, the new beginning. The rose pedals are soft. And with each petal on the flower it represents something that I have been through. The laughters, the friendship, There is one rose bud, Not fully bloomed yet. Because it is the future. The future of what is going to happen. When I look inside the bud, It won't allow me to open it. The moisture from the stem, that seeks up to the bud, is what is feeding me to be different. I know my future will be a beautiful rose. And the water in the vase will rise. When the garden is fully ready to be presented to all to see. it will be like no other vase filled with roses. So here is 2008 may all of you have a great year. May we walk together as friends. And share our tears, and our happiness. Thanks for being my friend and for walking with me in 2007. I feel so blessed to know you all. My #1 new years resolution: TO LET GO AND LET GOD DO THE WORK IN ME THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!!!hAPPY NEW YEAR
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There is no better way to put it.. This is exactly how i feel ..Awesome Journal.. and something for me to hold on to .. HUGs and Happy new year!!
Hi, I 2nd those words, exactly, Lindacma, it\'s how I feel and it is an awsome entry,, The Unanswered questions, the feelings realized afterwards. Yes, I think God wanted me to Know my true feelings, I just wish I could of felt them sooner, we go into a new year, and No, won\'t be off the Ride, but the ride is getting less scary as I can slightly detect where the bumps and drops will be and No even though I thought it at first, I don\'t think God has truely abandoned us. Im glad your seeing some positive and have hope for the new year, that\'s what Im trying to do and hope others can also.