The second step was Reflection. Reflect on the Loss Reflect on the individual. This was a very hard step and I never finished it because my friend called, and we hadn't talked in weeks. So I needed to take care of that. We can't forget those who are alive still living next to us. We need to nurture that relationship. Sometimes I feel because of the grief. I am either over smothering my son, or pushing him away. Our children are going through there own grief. And when they need us we need to be there. One thing I noticed about Matt is he deals with it in his own way. But when he wants to talk about dad or about what is going on, I better listen because I might miss the moment. So sometimes I have to try extra hard to stay focus. Any way the book said this is hard step to go through Reflection. One because we really don't want to Reflect on the feelings we are going through. We really don't want to see the road ahead. We really don't want to focus on memories because then the pain is to intense to us. Reflection is not just a quick moment or quick thought. It is what it is. deep thought of what is going. The assignment was to reflect on what is inside. To list all that I was feeling. This is why it is not fully complete. After two pages of just listing things There is still more to go. But I am trying to reflect on this whole situation.It also said GOd wants to hear how we are feeling He wants us to yell and tell him the pain. And that is what I was doing. As I was doing this, I realized two things. First many of us and even myself did not deal with the reflection at the first stages of grief. Because we were on this merry go round that just kept spinning and didn't stop. It was as if we spinned enough the pain would go away. It can't go away because when you are on a merry go round you are not going forward, nor are you going backwards, you are spinning with no point. I guess that is why I get so frustrated on why this has happen yet, or why don't I feel better or why I am not the NEW ME. So I think if I Reflect and let it all out then maybe the horse will jump off the merry go round and run free. Isn't that a thought.
Replies
ok what is the books name?
You really should make your diary comment public it could help so many....
My wish, my wish upon a star wish for you is to free yourself of the carousel. Your \"positive\" attitude simply blows me away.
you are so right.. but we must look to the future, and try and put the past a little behind us to try andbe happy again.. its hard but someday we will do it.. HUGS
Yeah, the thought of the horse taking off and running free is quite something....but what a thought....running free from all the heartache....and the longing....and running forward to greet a new life, but never forgetting the old....yes, I do believe that I like that thought....as scary as it is, I like it. HUGS, Kat
Your headed in the the right direction, keep on going!!!!! It\'s in yours and God\'s time and no on elses!!!! Have a great blessed day!!! xoTeddie
I am very happy to hear that you are trying to heal with all of your might. It can be so difficult at times, but in the end all of your hard work will pay off...and I am thrilled to hear you say what I think to myself about the living people in our lives. It is true that we need to maintain relationships with them as well. :) ~HUGS~
Marcy