THis healing process is so strange. One moment we a sad,
One moment we are anxious,
One moment we are frustrated
One moment and we feel we can not move on.
But than there are other times we feel the love of GOd and those around us. Be have peace. We have our memories, of the good times, and clouded memories of the bad times. I believe that God can repair any broken heart.
I miss my husband, and our talks, and how he just held me when i was scared. Thinking of what he may say at this moment. I believe he would say, everything is going to be alright. He always believed that. When I found I was going to have child. He knew that everything to work out. For months, I was a emotional individual. And even had a nickname of the individual that would come up and try to bring all who were around her, The individual was called irene. I will continue this later. I need to run at this time.
One moment we are anxious,
One moment we are frustrated
One moment and we feel we can not move on.
But than there are other times we feel the love of GOd and those around us. Be have peace. We have our memories, of the good times, and clouded memories of the bad times. I believe that God can repair any broken heart.
I miss my husband, and our talks, and how he just held me when i was scared. Thinking of what he may say at this moment. I believe he would say, everything is going to be alright. He always believed that. When I found I was going to have child. He knew that everything to work out. For months, I was a emotional individual. And even had a nickname of the individual that would come up and try to bring all who were around her, The individual was called irene. I will continue this later. I need to run at this time.
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Ok so I back, with so many emotions at hand, I know we feel, a little crazy, and why wouldn\'t we. Our loved one left us with a new life, and we didn\'t have a chance to be aware of it. And even if we knew that was our last day, I don\'t feel we could ever be prepared for the journey we now face. It is ok to feel, it is ok to grieve. Time is just a second, and no one knows what they will feel. Thinking of his goodness he had towards me is worth more than a pot of gold at the end of any rainbow. For now he walks on streets of Gold. With knowing that with each step I take, may a search out for the answers, for the many questions I have. If I was to say I can\'t climb mountain, then I would not be trying. Reflecting on what he taught me during that marriage, trying to list those lessons, So I will grow. Knowing that is and was and always will be GOD\"S Plan that we would be together, and have just such a short period of time together. I really do care and treasure those times. If he was here at this moment time, I know IRene would not be out. I know I may be crying on his shoulders saying \"what do I do.\" ANd he would answer. One thing about Harry being 18 years older than I he had much more experience than me. He went war, and I just see the war T.V. So when life is so strange, he always had answer. He never gave up.
Let me explain one thing: He lived 13 years in pain!! That pain dictated everything in our lives. I believe that is one of the reasons I have trouble making decisions. Because I no longer have to worry about is the restruant handicapped accessible. Or is the field where our son plays ball? The pain controled me just as much as him. I would have taken that pain away from him, if I could have. But that was not the case. It helped me so much because it helped me stay focused. I on the other hand don\'t have that focused any more. But I have decided with a new week beginning, I am going to search for that focus, what ever it may be. I am thanking GOd and counting my blessing for all he has given me. We need to hold up our heads, and look forward, allow this journey to be a blessing. Even if it is in disquise. God bless all my DS friends.
Sounds like all the stages of grief !!!! Very normal!!!
I am with you, holding my head up and looking towards a new adventure in this life...but at the same time, I know John will always be at my side every step of the way...Kat