IT has almost been a week since I last wrote in this journal. My life has been very busy. And not enough time to sit and write. I have been coming online and keeping up to date with my friends here at ds. reading there journals.
SO, about the week. Well all I really can say, is GOd is so good!!! And he is really comforting me right now. I went away on the retreat, and yes I did have moments when I felt so alone in a room full of lots of people. But prayer can change that. The Lord is doing so much in my life. He supplies all that I need when I need it. Something I learn each day. At times I think oh I need that, and I need that by this day. And it will be one day or one hour and he provides. Then I have to stop and thank him for his goodness. But really, what is happening right now is he is saying to me, depend on HIM. and all will be ok. The Lord can be my everything. Oh though I love my husband. I probally depended on him more than GOD. So now I lay those burdens at the foot of my Lord. As I think of new life and new directions, I know I have a lot of changes that need to be made in my life. Ones, that will be easy and others that will be hard. But I want to serve as Christ shows me where to serve.
Things on the home front. Are going good. My son misses his dad so much. And each day, he reveals, a little of what he misses. We turned the calender for May and discussed the booked schedule we have for the next month. As my birthday is next week. My son looked me and said, dad always took care of the celebration and your gift. I don't know if I can pick one out that will be as special. I assured him I would love anything he got me, even if it was made by his tiny hands. He has such a giving heart. SO precious to watch.
Still having a hard time sleeping and the motivation of doing anything is hard. I am fine work, but when I get home I am drained. And can't get motivated to do housework. Oh well, there is tomorrow, when I clean. For now I just sit back, and watch how the Lord is changing me to be a more humble servant.
SO, about the week. Well all I really can say, is GOd is so good!!! And he is really comforting me right now. I went away on the retreat, and yes I did have moments when I felt so alone in a room full of lots of people. But prayer can change that. The Lord is doing so much in my life. He supplies all that I need when I need it. Something I learn each day. At times I think oh I need that, and I need that by this day. And it will be one day or one hour and he provides. Then I have to stop and thank him for his goodness. But really, what is happening right now is he is saying to me, depend on HIM. and all will be ok. The Lord can be my everything. Oh though I love my husband. I probally depended on him more than GOD. So now I lay those burdens at the foot of my Lord. As I think of new life and new directions, I know I have a lot of changes that need to be made in my life. Ones, that will be easy and others that will be hard. But I want to serve as Christ shows me where to serve.
Things on the home front. Are going good. My son misses his dad so much. And each day, he reveals, a little of what he misses. We turned the calender for May and discussed the booked schedule we have for the next month. As my birthday is next week. My son looked me and said, dad always took care of the celebration and your gift. I don't know if I can pick one out that will be as special. I assured him I would love anything he got me, even if it was made by his tiny hands. He has such a giving heart. SO precious to watch.
Still having a hard time sleeping and the motivation of doing anything is hard. I am fine work, but when I get home I am drained. And can't get motivated to do housework. Oh well, there is tomorrow, when I clean. For now I just sit back, and watch how the Lord is changing me to be a more humble servant.
Replies
Each year after Chuck\'s death, my birthday was one of the most difficult days of the year. He had so much fun picking just the right present for me and making it a special day. Even when he was terribly sick or completely blind, he somehow found a way (against my pleading) to shop and find a gift for me. It didn\'t matter what the gift was, the amount of effort it took him and the joy it gave him is priceless to me. That\'s why it has always been difficult for me to hear women complain about their husbands not getting them the \"perfect\" gift. They have no idea what a perfect gift they already have. I won\'t wish you a happy birthday, it may still be too soon for that but I will pray that God will bless you with a day of happy memories, with His peace and comfort and the perfect gift from your husband...his undying love.
thank you dear friend. Words of wisdom, that place a special sparkle in my heart. Yes, I truely agree women don\'t treasure the true gift of their husbands.
eileen, I\'ve MISSED your journal entries! So glad you had such a good time at the retreat. Your surrender to Christ is so beautiful ... allowing Him to shape the new you and be the head of your home. You\'re an inspiration, Eileen.
(the kids tried so hard to make my first birthday with Clive SPECIAL, and they did. I appreciated all they did, but at the end of the day I broke down and sobbed my heart out as one very special \'ingredient\' was missing ...) All the \'firsts\' are tough huh?
When is your birthday?