Today is real bad, My son some how heard somewhere that light takes away depression. So he forced me to go on a bike ride to this park. Where God's beauty was all around. It was so peaceful, and nice. We went with a few his friends. On the way back he rode in the middle of the street and almost got hit. And wanders why I freaked out. He is probally going to get hit by a car before the end of the year. I just know. It is only by the grace of God he hasn't got hit. he takes to many chances. And all I can think of is when he dies, I will be all alone then. Is that not horrible. I really am having a bad day. I want to scream. I want to go crazy. And I want to do stuff that is out of the norm.But some how I just sit here. And try to get all out. I figure if I write I will feel better. Why am I so down today. Why am I feeling so alone???? I think I am going crazy. Which I probaly am. I listening to my CD's. Of course it is reminding me of how awesome GOd is. Very funny that I can be listening to this music and still feel alone. SO, the question is am I a hyprocrite or what. I even wish I was at work today. SO I didn't have to keep the tears inside me. I know some people think I should show my crying. But I just can't let my son see it. It only makes things worst. I have no place to go. I hate this. I am really depressed. Please God take this away.