Just sitting thinking well it is mid week and how fast the days are going by. To fast for me. I really am missing my husband today, taxes due at the end of the week and they aren't done. I am not worrying because I know God will take care of them. Harry always took care of them. SO this was very hard for me to get motivated to do them. Even know I know it is a fact of life. Harry enjoyed doing them. The only one I known who loved figuring out if we owed or the government owed us. But it was something that he felt he could help and get accomplish with out causing a big fight.
One thing about my husband was he cared about supporting his family. He felt that he was the man and that was his job. Even know due to his injuries, he lost his ability to work. this caused alot of frustration in his life. He wanted to work, and no one could ever understand his desire to work. I think the day the doctors told him he would never work again, it killed part of him. He loved his job. But for the last 12 years he was home. Many days depressed because he wasn't out there working and I was. But that is the life God gave us. At least we had worker's comp. If that is anything worth shouting for. But that is another day story. Today, I just write about the love he had for us to take care of us. Even know he didn't plan for us after his death, I guess we never really think about that until it is to late. I have learned from his death to make sure things are in order, that there will be a life insurance policy out there when I go home. I don't have all in order because I just don't have that motivation.
God will provide for us. This I know. He contiues to show me that each month when I write the bills. It is amazing to watch him produce the money needed. I think it is so awesome. I have so much less now. But so content. It is like God lifted that fret off me. There are a lot of wants I have, but they are wants and not needs. So I just put all that aside. And wait on God. I sometimes think I should get another job or get another part time job. But will I be more happy. Then I think of my son. He needs his mom. If I begin to become that work holic that I was before I had him, it will definitly change him. And I am afraid not for the better. I don't even have the energy to work another job. I barely clean the house now. SO what makes me think I can add another job into the equation. I don't know. And I think not. This is not what God wants for me. I wish Harry was here to get his input on all this. There is really noone that can put things into perspective like he did. Things just are not all about money. And definitly about Love. Love is a powerful emotion that can change almost anything.
One thing about my husband was he cared about supporting his family. He felt that he was the man and that was his job. Even know due to his injuries, he lost his ability to work. this caused alot of frustration in his life. He wanted to work, and no one could ever understand his desire to work. I think the day the doctors told him he would never work again, it killed part of him. He loved his job. But for the last 12 years he was home. Many days depressed because he wasn't out there working and I was. But that is the life God gave us. At least we had worker's comp. If that is anything worth shouting for. But that is another day story. Today, I just write about the love he had for us to take care of us. Even know he didn't plan for us after his death, I guess we never really think about that until it is to late. I have learned from his death to make sure things are in order, that there will be a life insurance policy out there when I go home. I don't have all in order because I just don't have that motivation.
God will provide for us. This I know. He contiues to show me that each month when I write the bills. It is amazing to watch him produce the money needed. I think it is so awesome. I have so much less now. But so content. It is like God lifted that fret off me. There are a lot of wants I have, but they are wants and not needs. So I just put all that aside. And wait on God. I sometimes think I should get another job or get another part time job. But will I be more happy. Then I think of my son. He needs his mom. If I begin to become that work holic that I was before I had him, it will definitly change him. And I am afraid not for the better. I don't even have the energy to work another job. I barely clean the house now. SO what makes me think I can add another job into the equation. I don't know. And I think not. This is not what God wants for me. I wish Harry was here to get his input on all this. There is really noone that can put things into perspective like he did. Things just are not all about money. And definitly about Love. Love is a powerful emotion that can change almost anything.
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