I can't believe it is april and easter is this week. I just have to say the days all run into each other. I remember a time when I was much more organized and I was able to do the things way ahead of time. And now GOd is giving us a cold front. The rain is coming down. And I just want summer to get here. This is so strange. I feel so isolated from everyone. Even know they are right here I feel like I am alone. I just want to feel normal again. What ever that is. I look at my son, and see so many changes. Each day something new. I just pray that I am teaching him and helping him the way I should. I miss my stepson. But still don't have the courage to contact him. I feel like he adbandon my son. I know he deals with a lot of guilt with his dad. And I know he is depressed. But he closed the door on us. And for that I just can't keep trying to be there. It has been nine months since we saw him. It hurts that he is only 8 miles away. He knew a different guy than the one I married. But I wanted my son to learn about that guy through his brother. Now I wander if that will ever happen. I put in the Lord's hands. I pray he will have a relationship with the Lord. My husband wanted that so much. I wait for that day, because it will be a joyous occassion.
Spring will probally past us by it will probally go from cold to hot. But does that really matter. I don't think so. What I do think is we need to let those who are here know we love them. So today I will try and let them know this.