I just wanted to write, because I feel I feel horrible, and I am hoping this will help me. I am lonely, tired and confused. I just don't understand anything around me. I don't know How my son is going to turn out. I fear, that with all my heart. Why don't I just put my trust in God, and let everything work out. I feel like a hyprocrite. Oh well I guess I am and God will tell me so. I am walking in darkness and not feeling the light near. A new type of grief. I am thankful I found this site. At least I can vent. I am not having a good day. I am probally going to cancle the procedure for thurs. I know my health is important. But so is living. I am not putting out money for them to tell me it is stress. I know it is stress. I know God wants me to depend on him. I look around and say. People are worst off than me. SO then why do I feel the pain. Well life has to get better. God will show me the way.