How come every time I try and do something productive That I know is going to hard. It turns into a nightmare. I go to get prescription and now my insurance company will not purchase them. And we all know I don't have the money. I have to have this procedure done. And I can't afford that. No wander it is unhealthy to be poor. I make to much money to get assistance on anything. I just don't get it. I tried to do my taxes tonight. But that aint happening either. This really stinks. I had weekend planed out and now I am alone. My son is at the dance. Which is good because I don't want him seeing me crying. I hate what life has become. I just hate it. I don't know what is going to happen. I just can't. part of me just knows I am dieing inside. Does that make sense. I know I am unhealthy. And I don't trust doctors. I can't stand it. What happen to that person who trusted the doctors only seven months ago. I feel like I have been cheated. Is that normal.Oh the money thing really isn't a issue. I am sure we could surive. I hate being alone and raising my son. I worry every day. He is not going to be right with out his dad. THere so many single moms, then why should worry. God is there to be father. But son, I don't believe turns to God for answer. He barely reads word. He has no desire to read his word. I try and encourage him. Knowing that the word helps me. BUt i see nothen. THis world is so messed up. I miss my mom. If she was here I would have a friend. I can't tell my dad, what I feel, He IS the worrier of worry warts. I don't know what to do. Or why I am crying this. I don't know. I just can't understand why every time I go to do stuff it falls apart. Why am I on the outside. ALways. I am just rambling so I will say good night.