Ok, is ok, God is still my stregnth. I am waiting for an answer on where do I go from here. I feel very worthless. My one friend keeps telling me that I must be strong for my son. But I just don't feel like I am the best thing for him. I feel so useless. Why did i loose my self esteem, when Harry died. I know He was the best cheer leader any one could ask for. I keep hearing him tell me that you can do it. But that just doesn't work. I just wander what is the right thing to do. Money is not an issue, so with the lack of it. I am trying to change my mind on how we spend it. The problem is I don't think my son understand the situation. Or even if I should discuss it with him. I know people are trying to help when they give me constructive critisism but when they do this I feel so guilty. I just wish I could escape. Go away and get my life together. I don't want to be a failure. I want to get through this. God has a devine appointment why is all this happening, now. Oh to move on.